I’m just going to start off with how I should never be allowed to buy a €3 bottle of Jagermeister all for myself ever again.
That said, Berlin was one of the best places I’ve been thus far. This post will probably be a bit long as I recap most of the trip, not for ya’ll’s enjoyment, but because after a few more dozen bottles of Jager I might not remember it as well.
After the ever-occurring “hurry up and wait” airport scenario, we arrived in a cold (-2C or 28F) Berlin and hopped onto the U-Bahn to our hostel, the Circus Hostel in the heart of the Mitte. It’s a lovely building, and even though Sam, Sophie and I were in different rooms, I was able to socialize with the 7 others in my room. This was my first real hostel experience, and it was great! It was amazing to be able to talk to my Netherlands, Spain, Columbian, South African, and Norwegian roommates, and how we all ended up in the same place.
.
SATURDAY: The Mitte
We didn’t exactly have an itinerary, it was more, “Oh shit this looks cool let’s go here!”. We started off the morning in a lovely Communist cafe adorned with red and mirrors spanning the wall so that you know that Mother Russia is always watching. The food was spectacular- smoked salmon, goat cheese in avocados, bacon, cheeses and eggs (without breaking the bank!). After breakfast we set out to the Museum für Naturkunde in the North West part of the Mitte, with minor yelling at me for me navigating us in the wrong direction since I was using paper maps instead of evil evil Google Maps. The museum was incredible, featuring a Brontosaurus, Trex, various taxidermied animals, a HUGE pickled fish collection, and other amazing natural wonders! After this we started off to the main attractions: The Reichstag Building and Brandenburg Gate. Ignoring the zombieesque herds of selfie-stick tourists (I’m not gonna mention how we had one too… wait, shit!) we gawked at the beautiful construction of these places. Berlin is an amazing mix of old and new, with degraded stonework perfectly meshing into stainless steel and glass structures. The highlight of those trips was a tiny…. hiccup? So get this, we are standing right in front of the Brandenburg gate, trying to get that perfectly obnoxious camera angle to that the bronze statue and us are all in shot. In order to do so, we need a long arm. Now, praytell, how do you measure arm length? Oh by standing shoulder-to-shoulder and raising your arms. YUP. Exactly. I fucked up. With my right arm partway up, Sam slapped it down yelling “MEGHAN NO”. What resulted was me in the fetal position laughing and crying at my shame for almost accidentally doing a Nazi salute RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING BRANDENBURG GATE. Sheesh, I can be such an airhead sometimes, feel free to judge. So after that, we headed off to Checkpoint Charlie and the (closed) Jewish Museum. On the way we ran into a gaggle of girls with signs “Pussy grabs back”, so upon finding the museum closed we turned around and went to a Trump protest! It was a great gathering, with great energy. Being cold and with my knee pain, we left for our hostel early-ish and found food at a vegan Japanese place (my soul was crying with every bite).
Peter Eisenmann’s Holocaust Memorial, a truly moving place
Breakfast Saturday morning- an absolute feast! 
Rose and the Doctor
At the gate- post arm fuckup
Aforementioned fuckup fetal position 
Impromptu Trump rally with some amazing gals!
.
SUNDAY: East Berlin
So. Much. Food. Four and a half plates of it, to be exact. Cafe Gagarin has a €11 breakfast buffet of the most amazing foods. There was a plethora of eggs, fancy meats and cheeses, fruits, yogurts, and my favorite: salmon, dill, and cream cheese stuffed eggs (I ate six, no regrats). After our feast and 45-minutes of espresso sipping food comas, we set off to wander the area. This part was filled with amazing parks, architecture, and the biggest toy sand-pit excavator I have ever seen (greedy ass 6 year old was hogging it, the bastard). After emerging from our food comas we set off to the East Side gallery. The remnants of the Berlin wall were amazing. They conveyed deep emotion and absolute artistic expression. There was everything shown from politics, repression, sexual expression, world peace, and cats. It was amazing to see such an important piece of history, and feel the connection that I had to it as an American, seeing the signs “YOU ARE LEAVING THE AMERICAN SECTOR”. The only walls that should be built are pillow fort walls, people. After the wall and chilling at the River Spree for a bit, we embraced the cold-as-balls weather and went ice skating! It was a small ring, but it was an affordable and fun way to get to ‘accidentally ‘ punch little bratty boys in the face for running into me! After a full and fun day, we sadly had to part with Sam, who took off from Alexander Platz for her plane home. After that, Sophie and I met up with a friend of hers for an absolutely lovely Persian meal (my love for labneh know no bounds). Exhausted, and overly full, we retired for our final night in Berlin (a bottle of smooth whiskey helped).
.
Chilling on the River Spree, next to the East Side Gallery 
Being a monkey, of course! 
A piece of wall art, always applicable
MONDAY: Megalodon’s Day Out
I’ve finally done it. The one uniting and fulfilling thing about being in the UK… and I did it in Berlin! What is this thing you might ask? I had beans on toast! Sophie and I went to a lovely candy shop cafe on a small cobblestoned strip, and filled up on tasty tea, meat, and gluten free toast! After breakfast we perused the area, seeing amazingly intricate statues, breathtaking churches, and a fun wooden carver shop full of cuckoo clocks, clogs, and doilies! From there is was onto the main attraction, museum island! It’s an island full of museums. Oh, are your panties not dripping at that thought yet? Well, this particular island currently has the Bust of Nofretete, a plethora of sarcophagus’s and walls hieroglyphics from pyramids, artifacts from the stone age to late Roman occupations, the FUCKING ISHTAR GATE, and other Islamic artifacts. Panties on the floor. Boom. Done. Gone. It’s basically a history nut like myself’s wet dream, and it far exceeded my expectations! Even beyond the exhibits, the building themselves are works of art, being made of amazing stone carvings and columns reminiscent of many past eras. So after spending a few hours with my jaw on the floor lusting after the displays, I begrudgingly pulled myself away from museum island and went on a quest to find a bouldering gym (I really want to go back though, and spend an entire weekend in them). At the suggestion of a friend, I settled on Berta Blocks Boulderhalle, and it did not disappoint! It’s comprised three large rooms with different climbing styles in each, including columns, aretes, deep 10meter cave/ceilings, all with the chance of topping out instead of dropping/ downclimbing. Definitely on of the best climbing places I’ve ever visited! After three hours of bouldering up to their 6A+ level (while somehow still failing to get some of their 5B’s?!??!) (Full disclosure: my climbing greatly improves when I know shirtless hot German guys are watching), unfortunately my ankle started to hurt more than my pumped forearms, so I walked back into the brisk twilight and descended back into the U-Bahn, on a quest for pudding. After locating pudding, I met back with Sophie and we went back to the first restaurant we visited, and I got a half chicken (with labnah) and a salad for under €5 . Soon, with heavy hearts, we said our farewells to Berlin and went home.
Or, so we thought.
Fourish stops from the airport, the rail stops and everybody is told to get off. Cold, confused, and worried, we stand on the platform waiting for an announcement on when the next one will come. Finally, after 20 minutes or worried pacing, the rail arrives and everyone pours on, in a seething tide of anxiety. It’s a smooth ride until the lights flicker, and go out. In total darkness we shuffle onwards, our pace slowing, with Sophie elbowing me in the ribs for humming the Jaws theme in the darkness. We roll to stop at the station and the people pry open the door- thankfully this was the last stop. Everybody pours out of the rail and begins the sprint to the airport for our impending planes. Needless to say, it was an exciting end to our trip!
The Berlin Dome and an amazing statue of a woman fighting a lion 
Berta Block Boulderhalle! SO amazing!
Overall, I am extremely happy with this weekend. Berlin is an amazing city that I felt happy and safe in. It has the same progressive expression found in Portland, is equally hipster and new-age, and has a beautiful language! It is now one of my favorite cities, and I will now pine to return once more to its amazing espresso’s, museums, and climbing centers.
Traveling like this is fun because it allows you to explores sides of yourself you may never have before. I don’t like Google Maps, it makes it too easy, too unadventurous. While my mates used their phones, I enjoyed walking around with a free Starbucks map and asking for directions in choppy German. Hostels are a great way to force new perspectives by seeing what other’s your age are doing, and what they’ve gone through. Finally, it forces you to be a better person because it’s unavoidable when traveling to not be hungry, sleepy, and overall grumpy. You can’t let this get to you, keep wearing those rose-tinted glasses and be open to new people, new things, new adventures! You can’t truly enjoy what you are doing if you’re pining over the past or focusing on the negative. I’m still not the best at this, and I’m certainly known for being a complete demon when hangry or sleepy (as my parent’s know too well), but I accept those faults and actively work to change for the better!
So, in closing, Berlin is spectacular. If you ever get the chance to travel, do. It will make your life amazing.
Mit viele liebe,
Meghan
P.S. IF YOU CAN WATCH THE NEW SEASON OF PLANET EARTH, FUCKING DO IT <3 <3 <3